why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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