your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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