So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
