There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize