she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
