hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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