Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
This house was built for laser tag.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
