this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
