I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
