so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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