Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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