think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
