Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
