dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
