that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
