I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
sex in a hospital.. check
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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