right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
