I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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