I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
