this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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