FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize