So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Randomize
