guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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