sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
