at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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