using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
