I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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