your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Mom said you looked used
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
