forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
