The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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