Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
