I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I am full of burrito and curiosity
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
