Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Randomize
