found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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