i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
