There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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