great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
