wakey wakey hands off snakey
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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