you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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