Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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