We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Randomize
