just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
