Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
