I just saw a hot homeless man
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
