If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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