Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

We named our party play list daddy issues

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(217): View more from Illinois

he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper

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(630): View more from Illinois

Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.

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(907): View more from Alaska

I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Tiny.

(402): View more from Nebraska

I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't

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(619): View more from California

Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.

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