3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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