Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize