Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
