My first STD was from a foam party
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
