i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
You left your phone here
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