you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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