I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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