Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
