don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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