i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
