fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize