if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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