That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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