Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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