I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
