We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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