clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I wish I only lived at night.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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